OVERCAST

I stare at the blankness of the chaos around me
As a breather from the chaos within
Will it still be called chaos when the answer's there
Already but it's covered by transparent layers?
In five cycles of the minute hand, I will be reborn
Will I face the answer then? Or,
Will I continue to wear out myself
In weighing the choices I have?
Options can sometimes be a curse,
As difficult as when there are none
But what is there to learn
Than to be a decisive one?
I stared at the blankness now within me
The chaos has blurred underneath
And blackness has wrapped my wholeness
Paralyzing me in this moment
My lips are sealed, tongue tucked in my throat
"I flit, I float..." and so the song goes...
The skies are heavy but the rains do not come

Backfloat Realization

I feel the darkness envelop me
In a panic at first, I reach out my hand
And feel the cold sand embrace me.
In a desperate move, I rest my head
On my shoulder and relax
As the gears of my mind set off
In a wild whirlwind of thoughts
Torn between getting up and letting go

I close my eyes and no longer feel
The sand that once took hold of me.
Now I get the familiar feeling of floating
As if resting from a day's backstroke swimming
I'm afraid to open my eyes,
Afraid to drown but tired of treading
Yet I ask, am I really tired
Or just afraid to try?

I opened my eyes and find myself
In the 4-foot deep end of the pool
An arm's length from the ledge
An arm's length from redemption.