Trade Fairs

As promised, here's the blog about the China Trade Fair.

Yun lang, that's it!

Hehehe... Just kidding... :-)

Let's see... Let's start when I was in Kinder (oohh... this is going to be loooonnng!). Back then, I thought I wanted to be nun. Yes, yes, I know! But it is true. I think girls (especially those who attended Catholic schools) go through such a phase in their lives. With the pristine aura of a woman in a white dress, a black (or white, depending on the rank) head gear (or whatever they call it), and a brown rosary "tied" to the belt, a nun is a role model for young girls.

However, this was only a short phase (less than a year, I think) in my young psyche. "Sister" was replaced by "Mrs. Evangelista", my Grade 1 teacher, in my role model list.

I was lucky to be the teacher's pet. I never experienced being scolded, or told to stand in the corner, or slapped with a stick by our teacher, although I was never the most behaved student in the class (back then, the "most behaved award" almost always went to the student who was always quiet, never raised his/her hand, but spoke softly when asked during recitation, and never rowdy in class, not even during recess time). Maybe that's why I wanted to be a teacher. Now, it makes sense, right?

But then, because of the "Little Miss Philippines" hype, I didn't want to be a teacher anymore. Can you guess "what I wanted to be when I grow up"?

Yes, that's right! Mama even gave me a toy physician's set. I remember the stethoscope (spell check please!) and the little red box-bag with the white cross in front which served as the doctor's bag.

As I grew up, I believed that it's what I really wanted --- until Biology. Ms. Quintana was a great Bio prof, no doubt about it, but I never enjoyed memorization work, especially if it involved the members of the Kingdom Animalia and the other Kingdom (see my point?). I was catching up quite well --- until Microscope Day!

My specimen (the letter "e" cut out from a newspaper) was already blurred from too much water because I cannot focus the lens of the microscope properly. Whereas my classmates registered an average 30 second time, and someone was able to do it in less than 15 seconds (if I remember it correctly, he was a delinquent --- always absent from class, and yet!), it took me a humiliating 20 seconds after a minute! I will never forget that!

So I didn't excel in Bio... but then came Chemistry and Physics. Modesty aside, I did pretty much better in Chem and Physics than I did in Bio. I thought, since I wasn't so helpless in Science, I regained hope of continuing my dream of being a doctor --- until Career Orientation Day.

This pretty lady talked to us about the corporate world. Right then and there, I was able to imagine myself in a pinstripe business suit (complete with manicure, make-up, hair and of course, the padded blazer!) inside a wood-paneled office overlooking the Makati business district. And I liked what I saw.

That's when I realized that 10 years of study would not fit me. It was too long! I might never be allowed to "legally" have a boyfriend until I'm nearly 27! That scared me... Haha! Babaw, noh? (By the way, I got married at age 22!)

But it's true. Very few high school students have deep convictions about their future careers. I was not one of them. I was very confused. Just take a look at my course choices:
In UP Diliman: BS-Bus. Admin & Accountancy and BS-Statistics.
In UP LB: Chem. Eng'g. and Agribusiness.
In Ateneo: Management Engineering, Management of Information Systems, and Management.
In DLSU: Marketing Management.

I ended up giving in to my parents' wishes... see future blog about this. But then, I shifted to Accountancy at the first instance that it was allowed. And that's how I ended up in an auditing firm. My first job! I met great friends there. And I enjoyed working in corporate Makati, going to and fro, snacking at Subway, hailing a taxi, laptop in tow, heels and all!... until I had to move back to the province when I was about to give birth.

For almost a year I worked in a university as Internal Auditor and part-time instructor. That's when I discovered I enjoyed teaching. I'm just not good in checking written assignments, projects and exams. It just takes up so much time!

But then, my family needed me in the business. So I had to resign from my job. I was sad, to tell you frankly. I got cut-off in the social circles, and it is so stressful to work with your family. There's just no escape --- even during dinners and Sundays, work always comes up.

Then comes along the pressures to put up my own business --- because my grandparents and my parents are businessmen and women. I tried. I put up an office/school supplies and home supplies store, but I was too busy with the family business that I never got to really manage the store hands-on. I ended up selling the merchandise to my storekeeper; she manages the store now (but business is not doing good). Then I accepted the offer to manage a water refilling station. So far, I'm still managing it, and I have many plans for it, but I can't manage it fully... again! Hopefully, I'd be able to rescue this business from its current slump.

I've also been planning to start a laundry shop. And a coffee shop. And an ice-cream parlor. And a store, again, but this time in a mall or tiangge.

That's why when I came across the Global Sources website, I impulsively signed up for a free admission badge in one of their trade fairs in China last April (for electronics and fashion accessories). However, Mama didn't want to accompany me, and I didn't have enough capital to place orders there anyway. Well, there's another trade fair this coming October 11-15 for fashion accessories and other items. Still, Mama doesn't want to go. And still, I don't have capital to start another store of my own.

Oftentimes, I get big ideas. But I lack the will and the passion to continue it. As John Lennon has said (though quite in another context), you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

Sometimes I think I never really liked the idea of having a business of my own. Although our family has always been businessmen and women, I sometimes believe that I am not an entrepreneur. I keep looking back at my life in Makati. I keep thinking, perhaps if I hadn't resigned, I would still be in audit or financial services, and give or take 5 more years, I'd be an AVP or audit director or even audit partner!

You know, I'm really having a hard time concluding this piece. So I'll just leave you hanging and perhaps, tomorrow, I might have something more to say that's less abstract than this one. :-)